ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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