a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she pinky promised me she was 18
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
