Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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