I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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