Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize