This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
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It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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