I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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