never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
