ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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