Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize