I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
