I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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