another moral hangover. fuck.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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