that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
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His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
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I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
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