your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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