I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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