can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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