Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
