I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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