mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
