is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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