we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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