The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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