I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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