the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
