Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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