If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
