apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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