Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize