Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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