I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize