just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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