That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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