dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize