Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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