margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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