Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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