walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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