Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We were destined to go to rehab together
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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