I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
