Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
