wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
