You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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