I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
