So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
