Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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