i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
