She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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