Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
