I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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