I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I want a musical about memes.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
