do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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