i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
