The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
