Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize