I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
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he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
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So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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