I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
