If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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