She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize