Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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