We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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