based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Did we literally take a cab across the street
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
