You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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