we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
