Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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