so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Green mimosas i think yes
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
