guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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