I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
