What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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