Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize