Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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